Wednesday, January 11, 2006

My head, cold against the concrete

I'm actually sick right now,

I'm actually happy for now, peace reigns for the moment

I'm tired yet not that tired

Spent the whole day doing nothing, busy with my nothings,

I breathe while I'm awake, I'm afraid that I might forget how it is to breathe if I sleep

I'm burning with desire for something

Its 2.01am, I'm glad that I'm bored.

I feel like hurling a rock at myself.

I'm sick and you feel it.

My head is encased in stone and my limbs are barely bones.

I'm listening to Sigur Ros and loving it.

I'm the nothing song

I'm the nothing god

Please tell me that you really care.

I want to lose myself but there's nothing to lose myself in.

My guilty conscience is on cruise control

I think I need medication just to be normal

I think I need the maddening effect of this world so that I may believe I'm still quite that sane

I wish that i could wish

I wish I had faith

I hunger for faith

I need faith

I, Faith, desire

I need so many things i'm afraid I can't give

But when I give I think I have not received.

My head is done in.

Thanks
Me!

2 comments:

blue_sapphire said...

What a very disturbing blog....yet there's something fascinating about the way you write. I can almost feel my breath get colder as I read it. Something in your words is attractive. Perhaps it's the implication of what you really mean? I really don't know.

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