Monday, March 31, 2008

Its been a while...

Dear reader,

I've been going through my post and it really is quite scary.

I seemed so angry, so fucked up, so lost, so wounded.

I was probably manic with despair.....It was fucking a year and 3 months ago that I've been here.

This place is truly a desolate, bitter, resentful and altogether awkward place.

Reading the posts really makes me want to cry out in anguish. Is that innate hatred locked up inside me or somewhere else?

Things have changed this one year plus, I do not know if its for the better or worse of me.

Reading all this bad black blood has really opened up some cold sores and also helped me realise that some wounds have indeed healed, some are far deeper than I thought.

The girl whom I had loved does not love me anymore, but time and reality shuffles along.

I don't know if I'm left here fighting her ghost or fighting to keep mine.

I cared, babe. I really did...